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DuAnne Seeley

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Posts by DuAnne Seeley:

How to Trap a Monkey

Recently I read about the best way to trap a monkey. A hunter will place glass jars with a narrow opening and fill them with some peanuts. The monkey will smell the food, find it and place his hand into the jar enabling him to take hold of it. The monkey will refuse to drop the peanuts to free himself. This is how the hunter can easily trap a monkey.  What initially amazed me about this story was what a small item you need to catch a monkey.  Later I thought about how it is also amazing how small things in life will totally trap people.  Issues such as fear, bitterness, anger, jealously, envy, pride, low self esteem, discipline, addictions, complacency and attitude. I realize these are not necessarily “small” things but big things that started out as small things and grew huge. We get trapped when we refuse to open up our hand and let go. Is there anything in  your life that you are clasping onto that you need to drop?

Bigger and Better

 http://life2getherblog.com/2008/05/

When I was on staff with a campus ministry we played a game called Bigger and Better.  You start out on a Saturday morning, meet, pray and give each team of two a very small item such as a nickel, pack of gum, pencil, etc.  The objective is to go into a neighborhood or mall and tell people who you are and the game you are playing requires that you offer the little you have in hopes of getting something better.  Thus the name Bigger and Better.  Once when we played this game a team left with a piece of gum and returned with a couch!  Several hours later you meet to share about your experience, laugh together and share some refreshments. We would close the event with a message about God’s best.  It was always a blast.  Today I still think about this game because in reality it is part of the life of every Christian. God wants us to offer the little we have and trust him to give us something better. This is difficult sometimes because most of us want control and to make decisions on our own. It is only when we know our Heavenly Father and how much he loves us can we trust him to really give us something better.  Throughout the Bible we see that God’s will is always good, acceptable an perfect.  What are you clutching onto today in fear that God will not replace it with something better?

The Temptation To Be Powerful

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Inspired by Heni Nouwen…

What is it that makes power so tempting?  Could it be because power is easier than love?  Jesus asked “Do you love me?” The disciple said “Can we sit at your right and left hand in the kingdom?”  (Matthew 20:21)  Since Satan in the Garden of Eden said, “The day you eat of this tree your eyes will be open and you will be like gods, knowing good from evil” (Genesis 3:5), we have been tempted to choose power over love.  Jesus chose love over earthly power. What do you choose?

The Temptation To Be Spectacular

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Have people ever expected you to be a superman or superwoman, doing spectacular things in the name of ministry?  The model marriage, model children, model walk with the Lord to start out with. Followed by ministry in the church, the community, and maybe on a national level. What about career success? Sometimes as a leader we can fall into this temptation and then we can’t stop talking about what WE are doing in these areas.  And when new opportunities come to be spectacular we can’t wait to share.  When we receive glory from people we can also give glory to people.  As I read about Jesus in the Bible I see that our purpose is to show Him off.  And glorify Him in all that we do.  The bottom line is anything worthy of praise is because of Him. Even my love is tainted and He enables me to love. I don’t even love God on my own…We love because he first loved us. Every person that I lead to Christ…No one comes to Christ unless he first draw them.  When I am tempted to be spectacular I pray I will remember Isaiah 42:8 “I am God.  That’s my name.  I don’t franchise my glory.”    Have you ever seen this in your own life or another?

God’s Presence

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At the beginning of last year I taught a community Bible study called Enjoying Intimacy With God.  My objective each week was to teach how we can know and experience God’s presence daily.  This can be a challenge when God’s presence is often a hidden presence, one that needs to be discovered.  The loud, boisterous noises of the world make us deaf to the soft, gentle and loving voice of God.  A Christian leader is called to help people hear that voice on their own.  Sometimes a leader is tempted to slip in to the role of adviser vs. teaching a person to listen and hear the voice of God.  The latter takes longer but is our responsibility.  The joy is seeing a person learn this is one of the greatest I have ever known.

Humbled By Servant Leadership

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Yesterday I shared how I have been reflecting on servant leadership.  When I experience this Biblical principle in action it catches me off guard. Could that be because it is a contrast of what we often see lived out?  Last week Todd called a couple of pastor friends to see if they might know of some available folks in their church who could help unload a huge truck.  On the day that the truck arrived we were very surprised that the two pastors (Rev. David Tubbs of Good Shepherd & Rev. Barry Dunn of Master’s Way) Todd called showed up.  It is a rare occasion that I am ever speechless but I was on that day.  Not only were other volunteers brought but the leaders came themselves.  Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.

A Reflection On Christian Leadership

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Henri Nouwen said Jesus has a different vision of maturity.  It is the ability and willingness to be led where you would rather not go.  After Peter had been commissioned to be a leader Jesus confronts him with the hard truth that the servant leader is the leader who sometimes will be led to unknown, undesirable, and painful places.  Biblical leadership is not about power and control, but a leadership of powerlessness and humility in which Jesus is glorified.  This is not a psychologically weak or passive leadership but a leadership in which power is constantly abandoned in favor of love.  I believe this is true spiriltual leadership.  Powerlessness and humility in the spiritual life is not referring to people who are wimps and have no spine and let everyone make decisions for them. This is referring to people who are so deeply in love with Jesus that they are ready to follow him wherever he guides them, trusting that in him we will find the life we are told to seek after.

Living in Your Comfort Zone

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Today I was inspired after reading the following blog post by Mark Batterson.  Before sharing it I want to say that I know how easy it is to stay in a comfort zone because it feels good.  Coasting is easy. Yet I know from experience that God did not call us to be comfortable.  We were called to obey His Word which will always stretch and grow us. He wants us to trust him and without stepping out of where we are we will miss experiencing Him in a powerful way.  The funny thing is when I do step out in faith and obedience there is such joy and renewed intimacy with Him that is worth everything.  All I have seen teaches me to trust Him for all I have not seen.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Go. Set. Ready.

There is an old adage: ready, set, go. And that is how many of us operate spiritually. But I wonder if our modus operandi should be: go, set, ready. If you wait till you’re ready, you’ll never go! I wasn’t ready to pastor. I wasn’t ready to get married. We weren’t ready to go multi-site. If I’ve learned anything I’ve learned this: you’ll never be ready.

I just read through the book of Acts and my macro observation is this: they didn’t over-analyze. They genuinely believed that the Holy Spirit would guide them and He did. It is such a spirit-prompted story.

I absolutely believe in cost-analysis and risk-reward ratios. In fact, Jesus told us to count the cost. But two thousand years ago he also said, “Go.” And he hasn’t said “stop” since. So why do we ask if we should go? Shouldn’t we ask if we should stay? I just wonder what the church would look like if we assumed go unless God said stop.

I know we need timelines and priorities and strategies. And I know you have to discern the Spirit’s leading in the unique circumstances of your life. But I also believe in Ecclesiastes 11:1: “cast your bread on the water for after many days you will find it again.” All I know is this: I don’t want to get to the of my life and wonder “what if”. It is the inaction regrets that haunt us. It’s what we could have, would have, and should have done that we will regret the most.

Go. Set. Ready.

posted by Mark Batterson

Black Ice

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A few days ago my friend Barbara had a car accident after hitting black ice. Before moving to NYC I had not heard of black ice. This is a clear or transparent patch of ice that is more slick than other forms of roadway ice and contributes to a massive amount of auto accidents, some of which are fatal.  Other than her car being damaged my friend was okay for which I am very thankful.  As I was thinking about how hazardous black ice is and my need to be extra careful while driving this time of year my mind begin to dwell on some other life lessons.  Throughout life we will face obstacles, adversity, disappointment, grief, pain, people who are a negative influence, integrity or health issues. How I respond will determine whether these circumstances become a stepping stone or a stumbling block.  Are you facing any black ice in your life?  Maybe something you are attracted to or tempted by but deep down you know you should turn away.  Be careful and watch your step.  Just like black ice can cause an accident, many life choices can also cause you to wipe out.

“Be prepared.  You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own.  Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet.  Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words.  Learn how to apply them.  You’ll need them throughout your life.  God’s Word is an indispensable weapon.  In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare.”                Ephesians 6:13-17 Msg Bible

Window of Opportunity

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My children often hear me teach about a window of opportunity.  Sometimes a window is open but then it will be shut. Sometimes forever. An opportunity is good chance or occasion to advance in some way.  We are all given windows of opportunity in a variety of areas.  We have a window of opportunity to develop a strong marriage. There are ministry windows. There is a window of time that we can develop a relationship with our children and one day that window will be shut. There is a window with our parents, family and friends that will one day be closed.  There are career windows and education windows. Windows of opportunity to mend relationships. Opportunities to share Christ with someone. There are also special opportunities for spiritual growth or mentoring that will be closed.  I have missed opportunities in life and I have taken opportunities. Once I was given the opportunity for a free education at Dartmouth.  I didn’t take it. There have been other opportunities given to me that I am so grateful I accepted….Bible studies, volunteer opportunities, church internships, staff opportunities, relationships, mentoring by incredible people, seminary, marriage, time with my children, ministry, etc.  Are you facing a window of opportunity at this time in your life?  Don’t delay that decision too long or the window may be closed….forever.

Grand Central

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Grand Central Station [007493]I’ve often wondered what it is about Grand Central that I love so much. I wondered if it was how “grand” the terminal is, the wide variety of good food, the excellent coffee or Junior’s which was voted best cheesecake in NYC.  Yesterday as I was running through the terminal to catch a train it hit me. I love all the mass of people that are going after their dreams.  I love the determination of people who have vision and goals. I like people with passion and focus. Met a man yesterday from the Caribbean who recently moved to NYC.  I asked him What do you love most about NYC?  He replied that he came here to live out his dream.  When I asked him how that was going he said Great. He was hired to apprentice for his dream job under the owner of his dream company.  I’m happy for him. He took a risk and moved to a huge city with a dream and determination. He decided it would be better to risk and fail than never to try at all.  This man represents what I see when I am in Grand Central.  What dream is planted deep in your heart?  If someone could help you achieve it would you go after it?

The Deepest Love

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Valentines roses

I love Valentine’s Day. Before marriage I would speak to women about God’s love for us being the greatest love of all.  I enjoy sharing what Scripture teaches us about love…God loves us with an everlasting love. He has drawn us with loving kindness.  His lovingkindness is great toward us.  Love covers all transgressions. Love is from God. Keep yourselves in the love of God. Etc. We were born with a desire to be loved. Satan has extorted this desire.  Only God can satisfy this longing to be loved with perfect love. Many times I hear women say they hate Valentine’s Day if they are currently not in a relationship.  The Lord has blessed me with a wonderful husband and I am so grateful.  All you single women out there need to know the truth…no matter how awesome your spouse is, God is the only one who can satisfy that longing for the deepest love.  If you look to a husband or romantic interest to fill that need you will always be disappointed.  When I was single I learned a great lesson from Margaret Maxwell, wife of John Maxwell.  During Q&A at a conference someone asked her:  Does John make you happy?  Her immediate response was “No.  That is not his job.”  Wow.  Straight forward. Simple. True.

I have thought about having this on my tombstone:  DuAnne Seeley ~ Loved By God.  

The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior.  He will exult over you with joy. He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over  you with shouts of joy.  Zephaniah 3:17

Leadership Is Not Manipulation

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Genuine regard for people is not something that can be faked. People can not only sense your true sincerity, but they can only be fooled for so long before your actions will expose you.  Manipulation means causing others to act for a perceived benefit, though temporary, for  the manipulator.  The ultimate cost of manipulative tactics is an eventual decline in morale, growth and productivity.  If a pastor leads this way it is only a matter of time before the church will begin to decline. Most pastors do not lead by manipulation but unfortunately Todd and I have seen it in churches we have been consultants for. It is seen where there is no real accountability for the pastor who really views the church as belonging to him vs. the people.  Usually a church with this DNA is family run and controlled by a charismatic leader who is fearful of losing what he feels rightfully belongs to him.  He may have a board who “votes” on issues but he manipulates the folks who vote.  If they rock the boat of his desires they are quickly replace with another.  A pastor like this is often strong at attracting people but the back door is wide open where people are constantly leaving.  In desperation to grow he may hire consultants but the bottom line is that unless there is repentance and change his “empire” is going to crumble.

Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.  Psalm 127:1

Blessing and Curses

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Negative words will cause children to lose the sense of value that God has placed within them.  A child’s self-image will be destroyed if they continually hear negative words spoken to them. And with those negative words, a door can open for insecurity and inferiority.  I speak with adults today who are still suffering as a result of the negative words spoken to them as children.  A blessing is not a blessing until it is spoken.  Who can you bless today with your words?

58 Friends Blocked

http://seo.seocompany.ca/wp-content/uploads/facebookat-scam.jpgWhen Matthew turned 13 last October I allowed him to join FaceBook.  Our church had recently talked Todd and I into joining and Matthew was excited about  this social networking tool.  We explained the rules carefully…only people that we know personally can be accepted as friends.  In the beginning his only friends were family, our church and pastors that we know around the country. Then it expanded to kids from his school in Alabama, neighbors, other people in fulltime ministry or just folks we knew from churches where we had ministered. For a while we were quite pleased that he was reading from some great folks…people who were passionate followers of Christ. Personally I have enjoyed catching up with folks I have known and seeing how the Lord has been working in their lives. I loved FaceBook!  I also loved the closer connection with folks in our church.  Wow! This is so great!

In no time at all kids his current school found out he was on FB and requested to be friends.  Matthew has always been shy and introverted and he was happy that so many kids wanted to be “friends” with him. Every day he had multiple friend requests and his number skyrocketed to 150 friends.  What also grew was the time I needed to monitor his FB.  When I go on his FB I view the info page of each friend, postings and what their friends post. My reaction was soon shock and then it was a Help Lord prayer.  So many of these kids indicated on their info page that they attended a Christian school, were believers and loved God.  Yet their postings were the opposite of what one would expect…ungodly language and behavior.  Written out for everyone to see were curse words, talk about sex, disrespect toward parents and teachers, cyber bullying to other kids, etc.  The kids were even bold enough to curse at my son and write hateful language on his wall.  During this 2 week period that I was awakened to the full reality of the situation my son was in, one of the kids talked my son into giving her his password.  I can’t believe he did it but he trusted her to help him out with something. What she did was go into his address list and choose about 15 people at random to post obscene messages to. The people chosen were a few from our church and other pastors.  All of this happened within a 2 week period.  Todd and I quickly went into damage control mode and contacted each person to share what had happened.  We also sat Matthew down and gave him an ultimatum…disengage the whole FB site or block every kid that was a bad influence. We also explained why we had made this decision. He chose to block 58 kids.

Matthew was allowed to keep some friends from school.  Those that post typical teen stuff about school, movies, pets, sports, family night, etc.  It is back to being a more wholesome site but I still monitor it.  And he was allowed to keep all of his friends from Alabama.

Do not be misled, bad company corrupts good character.  I Corinthians 15:33

The Power Of Words

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/birmingham/content/image_galleries/heart_surgeons_gallery.shtml

As adults, we can profoundly influence the direction of children by the words we say to them.  With our words, we have the ability to mold and shape the future of anyone over whom we have influence. And each of us has influence over people.  Last weekend my family watched an excellent movie called Gifted Hands, the story of Ben Carson.  Ben was in middle school and classmates and even teachers communicated that he was dumb and a loser. He believed them and the result was report cards with D’s and F’s.  He believed the words he heard and his self image plummeted.  He was an angry kid. Most of us know that hurt is the root of anger. Negative words will destroy a person quicker than you can imagine.  You cannot speak negatively about someone and expect them to reach their potential.  The scripture reminds us that with our words we can bless people or we can curse them.  The mother of Ben Carson saw the impact of his environment and relocated him.  She began to speak words of truth to her son.  Today Ben is considered the best pediatric neurosurgeon in the world.  The power of words.

What I’m Reading Again

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There are few books that I read a second time but Leadership Gold is one of them.  At the beginning of the year I think about my personal growth and development and write down a plan for the year.  This book is on my list for 2009 even though I read it last year when it first came out. As I read LG a second time I will write down discussion questions to use with people I am coaching.  I have also added this book to my Deborah’s Women curriculum.  This is a group of growing leaders that I mentor for 12 months. We meet once a month as a group and on occasion one-to-one.  Emerging leaders will love the foundation that Leadership Gold provides.  Experienced leaders will love gleaning from a leader who has trained more than 2 million leaders worldwide. I love learning from a leadership expert who loves Jesus.

Every Decision Has Consequences

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Traffic in ManhattanLast night we were crossing 7th Avenue to have dinner with a potential staff member at the world famous Carnegie Deli.  As I am rushing across to avoid being hit by cars something happened in my leg which hindered me from getting to the other side.  The middle of a street is never a place to stop but especially in Manhattan!  I did make it without being hit but not without injury.  I limped with excruciating pain all around the city, to the subway, to the ferry and home. Today I am in pain with a pulled muscle and disappointed that I had to cancel some great stuff that was on my schedule for the next few days.  What bums me out is I believe this injury could have been avoided if I had been faithful at stretching and exercise the past 8 weeks.

This experience makes me think about the cost of letting other priorities slip in addition to health….spiritual disciplines, time with spouse, children, family, friendships, getting out of debt, saving for the future, investing in education, going after your dreams and living out your purpose. So I asked myself a question this morning, am I doing what I should be?  The consequences have already been decided, you simply make a decision regarding the cost.

Why Do People Resist Change?

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I believe it was Mark Twain who once said The only person who likes to change is a wet baby. It does seem to be human nature to resist change that we are not convinced will be better. The greater our need or circumstances, the more open we are to change.  President Obama ran on the slogan Change We Can Believe In. The current financial situation helped this idea resonate with the people.  People want this to change.  But what about when things are good but can be better?  In this case people usually cling to great and miss the greater.  Why do people resist change?

1.  Fear of the unknown.  People feel more secure with the familiar.

2.  Lack of exposure to success.

3.   People are usually satisfied with the status quo.

4.  People assume that the implementation of a change will require an additional commitment of time in an already jam packed schedule.

5.  Fear that needs will not be met with the change.

6.  Concern over compromise.  They fear adopting a change will involve giving up something they feel is important.

7.  Insufficient information concerning the change.

8.  Negative past experiences with change.

9.  Lack of confidence.

10.  Spiritual apathy.

11.  Fear of failure.

12.  Concern that the change will result in a new set of problems.

When we resist change we limit the wonderful that God wants to do.  Jeremiah 29:11-14 is a great passage of Scripture to use when praying about change.

Growth = Change

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All change may not advance personal growth and development but without change there can be no progress at all.  How have you changed…lately?  In the last week?  Or the last month?  The last year?  Can you be very specific?  Or is your answer vague?

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