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The Blessing of Pain

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The Blessing of Pain


Shower
Bath
Open a tea bag
Cook
Eat
Hold a glass of water
Make coffee
Hold a cup of coffee
Pick up a tea kettle
Wash or dry my hair
Write
Use my computer
Text
Drive
Put on clothes
Take off clothes
Put on shoes
Take off shoes
Clean my home
Excercise
Grocery Shop
Put on makeup
Open any kind of can or jar
Sleep in a bed
Sleep more than 2 hours at a time
Scratch my back
Give a hug
Wear contacts
Garden
Work
And a few other things I could no longer do for months.

I broke my humerous bone in 4 places. My orthopedic doctor told me on a scale of 1-10 my break was a 10. My physician recommended natural healing to avoid risk of nerve damage or infection.

The pain was so intense even with strong pain medication every 4 hours. After 3 weeks I decided to stop the prescription pain medication due to fear of addiction. For a few days it felt like I had a horrible virus. Later I learned this was due to stopping the pain meds cold turkey.

Pain changed me. It was humbling to be dependent on my husband and others for every thing. It was difficult to feel pain 24/7. It felt strange to stay home, not work and wear pajamas all the time. The situation I found myself in was shocking. I have always worked, been busy and independent. One of my greatest joys is cooking for my boys. I could no longer do this. They came to visit in July and we had to purchase food. This may seem small to some but I felt sorrow.

What I could do was pray and read my Bible. It was during this time that I began to see the benefits of my accident. Today I am so much better. Though I still have pain, with physical therapy my range of motion has improved tremendously. Looking back I see more clearly how my pain was a blessing.
Initially my reaction to this accident was shock and depression for several days. The pain was such a high level that I longed for heaven. Not being able to sleep made it worse. After the shock wore off my heart shifted in three ways. I began to pray:

#1 God you are great. You are sovereign and worthy of praise. I don’t understand why this happened but I worship you.

#2 Teach me more about you, myself and others through this journey.

#3 I don’t know how but I ask that this would bring glory to your name.

After 5 months I can say that God used my pain to:

Get my attention
Humble me
Guide and direct me
Draw me closer
Change my heart
Grow my prayer life

In the process I have met so many others with worse injuries…

A 35 year old mom with two broken amrs.
A woman with daily severe vertigo for 2 years.
A 40 year old woman with such severe nerve damage and infection from surgery that she was forced to have her arm amputated.
A professional violinist who could no longer play after breaking her arm and nerve damage from surgery.

Pain is a blessing that takes us to points of desperation and need, to pivotal moments of prayer and rescue/restoration and resurrection, that we would never experience if left to our own comfortable routines, Pain is meant to be a blessing, and it is through pain that we grow and develop into who God has created us to be. Becoming aware of pain is the first step towards healing and wholeness. Ecclesiastes 7:2-3 says that sorrow is better than laughter, for by the sadness of he countenance the heart is made better.

So whether our pain is physical, emotional, mental or spiritual, God can use it for good. The key is for us to focus on the Lord and not ourselves.



Sunday Night Bouquet

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Kaleidoscope

Many of my pastor friends do a “Sunday Night Dump” which is a blog of random thoughts on their mind from the week. Tried to do that a couple of times here. I love the concept but the phrase Sunday Night Dump is just not me. Today I remember 25 years ago when I went on staff at my first church. A pastor friend said to me:  Start a bouquet file asap. I had never heard of that but it is a file where you keep encouraging cards, notes, letters, photos, or anything that can fit, to revisit at times of fatigue, discouragement or wondering why you do what you do. I took that advice and still incorporate this into my life. I have a paper “bouquet file” and also an online one. Because writing is a hobby that energizes me, I thought I would share a bouquet with you from the last week. It is amazing all that can happen in just a 7 day period!

Thank you Jesus for….

1. Person who prayed to receive Jesus into their heart.

2. Youth ministry meeting Wednesday morning.

3. Boys getting to spend time with Jim and Kay.

4. Call from Baptist Church.

5. Robert.

6. Hugs from my children.

7. Rachel.

8. Call from UMC.

9. The Wharf.

10. Evelyn.

11. Rick, Kelly, Anita.

12. Robert & Judy.

13. Julia’s authentic heart for Jesus, His church and children.

14. A bike ride with my son.

Random Thought’s on Sunday Night

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Todd and I see Sunday night as the last day of the week. Here are a few random thoughts…

  • Seeing people baptized  is always amazing. Even with 2 who did not show up we still had 7. Several more on waiting list for next time.
  • Todd baptized the boys today. I cried.
  • Sharing the service and lunch with family was encouraging. 
  • Commuting while our home is being renovated is getting tiring. Over an hour of driving daily.
  • Seeing volunteers work on our new office space and the CE building is great. Reminds me that I would rather start with a core sold out than an army not committed. We are blessed here.
  • Matthew started basketball last week. I love seeing him play.
  • We had 5 pray to receive Christ last week. Praying we never forget this is our purpose.
  • The boys got a lot of candy tonight. 
  • Cooked homemade tomato soup for dinner with grilled cheese.
  • Laundry is piled up.
  • Thinking about the precious folks God has given us to shepherd. We are blessed.
  • Todd and I talked about my schedule and load. I need to remember the boys and Todd are my highest priority.
  • I need to make more time for things that energize me.
  • I need to pull back from what drains me.
  • Kay is going to help me decorate the new office space.

7 Types of Girlfriends I Need in My Life

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Friends are an important part of life and without them life would not be as rewarding.  I’ve learned that some friends are in your life for only a season, some for a reason and a few for a lifetime. I have a variety of friends in my life but the most important factor we all share is honesty. They are honest with me and I with them. They don’t freak out or have a drama meltdown or talk about me to others (including their husband) with any issue that comes up. Here are 7 types of friends that I Need…

1.  THE FUN FRIEND

Laughter is good medicine for the soul and so is a fun friend.  This type of friend has a great sense of humor and is just fun to have around. You laugh a lot together and probably cry together too,  from laughing so hard or at the right movie.  I have never been into shopping (not even the day after Thanksgiving), but I can handle it with a fun friend.  She can even make cleaning fun.  The more of these you have the better!

2.  THE POLITICAL FRIEND

I enjoy being active in politics and that involves keeping informed of all that is going on. My political friend and I enjoy discussing issues and sharing our views. Maybe we don’t agree on everything but that’s okay. We share current articles, emails and new reports. Liz has been the best political friend I have ever had.

3.  THE FIT FRIEND

These friends are important but I seemed to have more of them when I lived in California. Lots more. This type of friend is obviously fit and eats healthy. Much of what you do centers around being healthy and you probably exercise with her sometimes. My current schedule makes it difficult to exercise with a friend but it’s still important to grow in the area of fitness.  Julie was the most healthy friend I ever had and I sure miss connecting with her.

4.  THE HEART FRIEND

The heart friend is one that I can share the deepest longing of my heart, my dreams, passion and the depths of my soul. We talk a lot about Jesus, God’s Word, how the Holy Spirit is speaking to us and ministry. This type of friend will keep EVERYTHING I share with her confidential, even from her husband. If we have a temporary conflict she does not share it with anyone and we usually work it out soon. Sometimes I’ve had heart friends that I had to let go because they didn’t keep what I shared with them confidential. I didn’t blow them off and stop being a friend but I had to change their place in my life. If you are in any type of leadership position you must choose your inner circle very carefully. These friends are rare jewels and come and go as I move around the country.

5.  THE PROVERBS 31 FRIEND

This friend is one who has been married longer than I have been and she will have children who have passed the stage that mine are in.  She is not perfect because none of us are but she has walked the road before me and strives to be a godly wife and mother.  She is a great sounding board. The bottom line is that she motivates and challenges me to be a better wife and mother. Thank you Sharon Maguire, Kathy Keller and Kay Owen.

6.  THE INTERCESSOR FRIEND

This is a friend that I can pray with. She has a heart and passion for prayer, does it and believes in the power of it. Terry Porteles was my intercessor friend in NYC and we prayed together as well as corporately at the Brooklyn Tabernacle Prayer Meeting on Tuesday nights when I lived in NYC.  Even if distance separates you can pray on the phone together.

7.  THE MENTOR FRIEND

This friend is rare indeed but they are out there of you want them bad enough.  When you connect with a mentor friend either casually or in a structured setting, they will challenge you to stretch and grow.  The first female mentor friend I had was Sheryl Fleisher and she challenged me on having a dynamic walk with Christ through prayer and in areas of ministry. Geri Scazzero challenged me in emotionally healthy spirituality.  Kathy Keller challenged me when I lived in NYC on trusting God with my children.

In my field of work I have had male mentors but because I am married and they are married we are not going to hang out together.  These mentors I will share about at another blog post.

This list is not all inclusive but the most important for me.  Sometimes what you learn from friends will overlap but I have found that most women have certain strengths that draw me.  Don’t you love hanging out with women you connect with? What about you?  Who are your girlfriends?

Never Say Never

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When I reflect over my life there are so many things that I never thought…

  • Never thought I would live in the South again after 11 years in San Diego
  • Never thought I would marry believing that I had the gift of celibacy
  • Never thought I would be a mother
  • Never thought my house would be a gathering place for little boys in the neighborhood
  • Never thought I would not be on staff at a local church
  • Never thought I would ever live in NYC
  • Never thought I would plant a garden
  • Never thought I would become such a great cook
  • Never thought I would not care for chocolate as much
  • Never thought there would be phases in my life when I am not teaching a weekly Bible Study
  • Never thought that I would read less than 2 books a week
  • Never thought that I would not be finished with seminary by now

I have learned that a disciple of Jesus never says never.  Scripture teaches that you can make plans but God will direct your steps.  His way is good, acceptable and perfect. Therefore we don’t have to fear the future but can have peace and confidence in his direction.

Years ago in San Diego I closed a collegian Bible study by giving out commitment cards that said  Lord, I am willing to Go anywhere, Do anything, Anytime for you. Today I resigned the card.

Has there been a time recently in your life where God is asking you to trust him with your future?  How are you responding?

Remembering The Day The World Changed, 9/11/01

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Today is a day the world will never forget.  Especially Americans. In addition to the ceremonies at Ground Zero, the Pentagon and PA,  most schools in the area will have an assembly or something special to remember the day the world changed.  I wish that every school in America would do the same. President  Obama will visit the Pentagon and pay respect to those who were slain by Islamic terrorists.  2,985 victims were slain and their names will be read.  At sun down two light beams will be on at the site of the twin towers 8 years ago.  It is a day of remembering and paying tribute.

Today it is good to remember that Islam is not a religion of peace but one with a written doctrine teaching any non-muslim should be killed. Islam is the opposite of Christianity.

So, how do we respond today? Like most Americans, I support that we must fight the war on terror. I want justice. But what the city needs most is not justice, but Jesus.

We need to take the Gospel to New York City.  When God called us to NYC our initial response was to say no.  But as we prayed we knew that it would be a privilege to say yes.  Todd, the boys and I are so grateful that we were obedient.  NYC changed our hearts forever. We are grateful for the friends we have made, the ministry experience and especially the people that have prayed to receive Christ. 

In his first interview on September 11, Mayor Giuliani was asked how bad it was. He responded, “More than any of us can bear.” He was right. But there is a greater tragedy. What if people were to minister only where they were comfortable or where it feels easiest for quick success?

Thousands died that day, but many more go into eternity every day without Christ. On Staten Island where we ministered, George Barna says that less than .05% are considered evangelical Christian.  The need in that area breaks our hearts. That is why we will spend the rest of our lives praying, recruiting pastors for, and financially supporting that area of the world.

When will we realize that it is “more then any of us can bear”? When will we be as shocked by the lostness of the world and act accordingly? When will our churches love the people of New York like we did on September 11? We sent so many work boots and water bottles that they said “no more.” My prayer is that we will send as many missionaries and pastors as we did boots and as many witnesses as we did water bottles. Only then can we truly love New York.

LEAD Ministries wants to help empower and support new church plants.  If you are a pastor who is open to plant in the NYC area please contact us.  Email Todd at tseeley@LEAD-Ministries.org.

Pink Flip Flops

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When it comes to shoes I used to be pretty basic & boring. Black, brown or navy.  Maybe white in summer. But during the summer of 2005 my good friend Liz had the coolest bright blue flip flops with sparkly thingies on at the ball park.  Since seeing her flip flops I went a little wild over summer shoe color.  I’ve had many colors but not pink.  I searched 3 years for pink flip flops. Couldn’t find a cute pair in my size that fit my budget. It took 3 long years but I finally found some on sale a month ago. Hoorah!  I was so excited to find them. Is it really possible to feel happier wearing pink flip flops?  I thought so.  If you’re a guy reading this please hang with me.   
Tonight as I was wearing my pink flip flops my son ran in the house and told me he saw a girl fall off her bike in front of our home.  With no emotion in his voice I assumed we were talking about a skinned knee in need of a band aide.  When I got outside there were already a few people standing near the accident victim…4 kids and two adults.  The 13 year old girl hit her head on the side walk and blood was everywhere and also running out her ear.  She was scared, dazed and confused.  Someone had just called 911 and she was crying for her aunt and uncle whom she was visiting from TN.  Problem was she had no memory of their phone number or address.  She could remember her uncles name but someone had been unable to find the name/number in the phone book. I immediately called 411 and got the number.  Fortunately the aunt and uncle she was visiting lived in our neighborhood and only a couple of streets over.  The aunt arrived just as the EMT were placing her niece on the gurney.  She had rushed over without shoes and was going to go back home to get shoes before driving to the ER.  I told her she needed to go with her niece in the ambulance.  She replied that she was barefoot.  I quickly threw off my pink flip flops and said you can have these. Hurry.  We’ll take care of your car.  Todd drove the car from the middle of the road to our driveway. More Ashley Green neighbors gathered in our driveway to find out what had happened.  We gathered for about an hour, discussing the accident and then got caught up with one another.  As I walked through our front door I remembered I was barefoot.  I also remembered something else…pink flip flops do not make you feel happier…but people gathering together, helping one another, caring about one another, honest fellowship,  loving one another, while realizing how fragile we are and that every day of life is a gift of God…this is what makes our lives real and relevant.
How fragile we are.

Top 4 Ways To Have The Best Vacation

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We just returned from a family vacation in Williamsburg, VA.  I think this is the longest real vacation that we have ever taken. My defininition of a real vacation is one in which neither Todd nor I are working. It’s so easy to put work in there whether it be sermon prep, Bible study prep, fundraising or something of that nature.  We refused to do that this time and the difference was amazing. Not to mention that our children appreciated that we made our relationships the priority.  After returning home we agreed that this was the best vacation we have ever had.  What made this vacation the best?  Four things come immediately to mind.

1.  Time Together – Choosing to take the 11 hour drive was a good decision.  No only did we have the week in Williamsburg but we had the travel time in the car.

2.  Short Accounts – We really tried to encourage short accounts. (Quick to ask forgiveness and deal with any conflict.)

3.  Simple Things – It’s not about money that  you spend but simple things in life that you enjoy together.  Cooking together at the condo, grocery shopping together, swimming together, late nights by the pool, taking the boys to ride go-karts, board games and taking walks.  Not having wi-fi or cell service at our condo turned out to be a big plus. I confess I did twitter some if we were driving in an area where I had phone service but most of the time I was unplugged.

4.  New Things – There is something about new experiences that bonds people together.  We explored some new areas of Williamsburg that we did not see on our last visit and this allowed us to build new memories.  Learning together draws people closer. 

During dinner after returning home the boys wanted to talk about “what was your favorite part of vacation?”  Honestly it is hard to pick just one thing.  After being pressured to choose I did narrow it down to two things…sitting out by the pool together at night and talking and floating on the “Lazy River” on a 2-person float with my husband for two hours.  🙂

After writing these things I have to parallel it with my relationship with our Heavenly Father.  What are the Top 4 ways to have a great relationship with God?  They really are similar…

1.  Time Together – Scripture tells us in James to Draw near to God and He will draw near to us. Just as this is true with people in your life it is also true with with God.  Regular time in prayer and His Word is the primary way to have a growing relationship with the Lord.  Meeting with the Lord on a daily basis is key even if it is just for 10-15.  As you grow that time will increase.

2.  Short Accounts – Unconfessed sin in our lives will always break our fellowship with God.  Spiritual maturity is not someone who never blows it but someone is is quick to confess sin and deal with it.  Beware of the temptation to whitewash sin.  Because of our pride and fallen nature we will be tempted not to be honest with God and others.  In place of lying one might be tempted to say “mislead.”  Or “said something I should not” instead of gossip.  What about “sharing a prayer request” vs. slander.  Recently heard someone say “I was unfaithful to my wife” instead of I lied to her and committed adultery.  Why is it that we choose the word unfaithful or crossed the line instead of calling it what it is?  This is an example of our pride and not dealing thoroughly with our sin.  I John 1:9 tells us that If we confess our sins he will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

3.  Simple Things – Living as a passionate follower of Christ is not complicated.  It is a result of simple things…surrender, prayer and obedience to His Word.

4.  New Things – Something that is not growing is dying. Whether it be a person, a marriage or a church.  New life will always bring new things.  How are you growing?  This will often require stepping out in faith which will require trust.  Those who grow the most are willing to take risks and try new things.

Which of these 4 do you feel the most challenged by?  What would you add to this list?

Physical Demands Of Spiritual Labor

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After over 20 years of ministry I continue to learn that serving the Lord in any capacity requires spiritual, emotional and physical strength and endurance.  Spiritual labor makes serious demands on us.  Three  years doing church consulting in the Northeast and then church planting took a heavy toll on me in all three areas.  Yes it was fun, exciting and rewarding but the demands were high.  WIN and serving as the Executive Director of the church was very full time. In additon to the norm I also lost my father in 2007.  Not being in driving distance during his last few months was difficult.  I am convinced that God used 3 things to keep me going in a demanding season of ministry. They are:     

  1. Consistent devotional life (prayer & in Word apart from Bible study prep)
  2. Consistent family time
  3. Consistent day off

But there is a 4th area that I neglected which is diet and exercise.  To serve Jesus well we must be as diligent in this area as the other three.  This month Todd and I made a decision to eat healthier and get in shape.  We have cut out processed food, unhealthy fats, sugar, white flour, soda, fried foods and high fat dairy.  I’m not saying we will never eat fried okra or fresh peach cobbler again but we are going to get our unhealthy weight off and make better choices so that we can labor for a lifetime. 

Even when you feel good it is still important to take time off.  This means a regular off day each week in addition to a vacation a couple times per year.  In one hour we leave for a vacation week in Virginia.  Someone in the church blessed us with a week at his resort condo.  We accepted.  As much as I enjoy blogging I will be unplugged while we are out of town.  My husband and children appreciate my undivided attention so they will have it.  Expect it will be okay to post cell phone pics on facebook every now and then.  You can also follow me on twitter @DuAnneSeeley. 

What do you do to unwind?

Jesus In The Grocery Store Line

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I enjoy going to the grocery store.  A lot.  So do my children.  We enjoy the whole process until we get to the counter to check out.  The values of the world we live in are displayed on the magazine covers for all to see while waiting to check out.  Here are a few of the article titles I saw this morning…Top 10 ways to hotter sex, Give him what he really wants in bed, 7 reasons to hide the affair, How to tell for sure if he is cheating, Get the hot body that no man can resist, Get that bikini body within two weeks, Lose 10 lbs in 7 days and many others. 

What do you think of when you read this stuff?  If Jesus were behind you in the grocery store line, what would he say?  How would he respond to the people?  I wonder if he would confront the system of our world?  We read in Scripture that he did.  What would he teach about how our culture values hotness over holiness?  Greed over generosity?  Celebrity over celebrating Christ?  Do you ever get sucked into what’s going on with Brad and Angelina more than what is going on with your neighbor?  Or the latest with Jon & Kate?   How would he address Christians today with our disconnect between Christianity and holiness as we are commanded all throughout Scripture?

Wouldn’t you love to see this on a magazine cover the next time you are in the grocery store line…Top 10 ways to live a holy life.  Can you imagine?  What do you think about this topic?

One of my Favorite Places

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Just returned from one of my favorite places with my children and visiting grandma.  Before marriage and children it was my #1 place to spend half a day if not the whole day.  The smell, the people, the filled aisles.  After all these years it is still one of my fav 5.  Sometimes I even take my laptop and indulge in a cup of coffee while enjoying the surroundings. I feel so at home when I go there. It doesn’t happen too often now, but when I do it is a gift to myself and pure luxury.  I’m talking about the bookstore.  Doesn’t matter to me if it is Barnes & Noble or Books A Million. 

I love to see where our culture is. What people are drawn to.  I love to see evidence in print of our need for Christ. Not that I don’t know this info already but somehow it deepens my burden for people when I see it with my own eyes.  A bookstore visit motivates me to pray more. It reminds me of the importance of kingdom living.  If reconnects me with the world around me.

This favorite place of mine also gets me excited about writing.  I have a couple of projects going and recently had contact from a book agent and we are scheduled to talk again in a couple of weeks.  Guess I will need to make a deadline commitment now.

Where is one of your favorite places to spend some off time?

A Few Of My Favorite Things…

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A few days ago I took the boys to our local library. As they looked for some good books I stepped into the magazine/newspaper cove to do something I rarely take time to do…sit and relax with a few magazines.  All I lacked was a hot cup of coffee.  I glanced at the O magazine and found the section on her favorite things interesting. I’m no Oprah but I have been thinking for a while that it would be fun to write a casual post on some of my favorite things.  I’m not the kind of person that cares much about “stuff” but there are certainly things that I enjoy.  So in total random order, here are a few of my favorite things…

STARBUCKS COFFEE   – I’ve tried about every brand of coffee out there and yet to experience anything that comes close  to any Starbucks blend.  I like to use a few drops of Land O Lakes FF half and half with a tbsp. of cool whip.  Brewing my own saves me $4 a day and that comes to $1,460 a year.

CLOROX WIPES – Of course I know that Clorox with a cloth is more cost effective.  The generic brand usually tear up on me.  These things save me a ton of time not to mention the laundry. Without them I doubt I would have the time to blog.  With all I save on coffee I feel no guilt on this splurge.

SHOUT SPRAY STAIN REMOVER – Before marriage and kids I never needed a stain remover. Living with 3 males I use this every day.  I have tried everything out there and I guarantee you that the other brands don’t work like Shout.  My mother-in-law used Shout while  visiting from Illinois and is now hooked.

LIPTON TEA – Whether you like sweet tea or unsweet tea, Lipton is the best brand in the entire world.  I drink it daily.  The antioxidants are an added bonus.  Used to drink cola’s and gave them up when I learned how bad they are for you.  I confess to slipping up every month or two and drinking a COKE ZERO.

TUTTOROSSO CRUSHED TOMATOES – Before living in NYC I used the pasta sauce in a jar.  My Italian friends thought that was a shame and taught me how to make excellent sauce from scratch. My family loves it and it also is more cost effective.  But the secret to great sauce is using TUTTOROSSO CRUSHED TOMATOES.  I was not convinced until I literally tried everything out there.  It is really second to none for your authentic Italian dishes.

MARY KAY EYE MAKEUP REMOVER – One of my least favorite things is my nightly ritual of removing eye make up.  This product is the best on the market and makes the job quick and easy.  Once your over 30 you need to stop using soap because it causes more wrinkles. Since I would never have plastic surgery I want to take the best care of my skin that I can.  Baby oil or vasoline is bad for your eyes.  One bottle cost $14 and lasts a few months. 

PANERA BREAD – We don’t eat out often but this is one of my top food places when we do. The food is made fresh and they have something for what ever mood you happen to be in. The tortilla soup is my favorite with the half chicken fontega sandwich. They also have free Wi Fi if you want to go alone and do some work.  I appreciate that they donate unused food to non-profit organizations or churches each day.

There are a few others that I will save for another post. What are some of your favorite things?