Yesterday we heard about a high profile pastor who resigned from a moral failure. I’ve read several reactions on twitter. My favorite tweet about this news comes from Ed Stetzer: “Lot’s of right & wrong ways to respond to pastoral moral failures–but make sure introspection is part of your response.” I think we should learn from those who fall in this area because it could happen to any of us if we are not careful. Yesterday I blogged about “Lessons We Can Learn From a Fallen Pastor.”
After hearing the news Todd and I connected over a cup of coffee and he shared what he believes are the top 7 values that has helped keep our marriage pure.
1. Daily Time in Word and Prayer – Most of you reading this know this is a devotional time and NOT message or Bible Study prep. Are you consistent? Without this we are allowing Satan more access to our mind and hearts.
2. Accountability – We all need it. It’s available if you want it. Choose someone who will ask the hard questions.
3. Never meet alone with the opposite sex. Ever. Period. No excuses.
4. Write out a list of the consequences of a moral failure. Put this list in your wallet and read it at least once a week.
5. Disciple other men. Ask them the hard questions. Everyone involved in personal mentoring knows that it’s very difficult to ask a man specific questions about how he is doing in the area of purity and spiritual disciplines if you are not living it out yourself.
6. Daily physical contact and sex as often as possible with your spouse.
7. Work together as a team. With the exception of when Todd served with The Navigators, Todd and I serve alongside each other in ministry. This is natural accountability. We have access to each others email, facebook, computer, etc. If Todd writes a thank you note or any type of correspondence to anyone he wants me to address the envelope. He shares every text or call he gets from a female. My office is next to his. We dream together. We plan together. We work and play together. Todd and I have worked more years together than I have worked with anyone else. We enjoy being together. When I was in DC last month speaking at a conference I expected he would enjoy some time alone because he is an introvert. Both of us missed each other tremendously.
These are our top 7. What would you add to this list that has helped you keep your marriage pure?