March 24, 2014 was our 20th wedding anniversary. Time has flown by and I can’t believe it has been 20 years since that night that we said “I do, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, etc.”

Last night we renewed our vows, not because we needed to but because we wanted to. Since Todd is a pastor he had to work Wednesday night. We made the decision to be creative since we would not have the night “off.” What a blessing to be with our church family and friends for our special night.

After the ceremony we shared a few personal things that pulled us apart in our marriage and what has kept us together. Unconfessed sin, pride, unrealistic expectations, busyness (including ministry) and focus on weaknesses vs. strengths can pull a couple a part. What has kept us together: Jesus. Matthew 6:33. Commitment. Forgiveness. Grace. Prayer.

Since all of the festivities are over, this morning over a cup of coffee with Todd I shared with him what I really think about the last 20 years. What I feel most grateful for today is that my husband loves Jesus more than he loves me. There are many implications of Jesus being his first love. Because he loves JESUS most we have moved all over the country to minister. Initially I never want to move anywhere and usually do so kicking and screaming. Every move has been a huge blessing. The 2nd implication to the Lord being his first love is that Todd will not support or agree with me if he feels my attitude or actions are contrary to Scripture. This is huge. It’s a big deal because I have seen so many folks agree with their spouse not because it is biblical but because they are not spiritually mature enough to do otherwise. This is not Todd. He will tell me if I am wrong. I love this about him.

If your spouse will not do this I encourage you to find someone who will speak truth into your life. Someone who will not be quick to agree with you if what you are doing or an attitude is sin. God will use this to bring about his purpose in your life. Without this type of person around you it will be too easy to live a life of Christian pretense, have stunted growth and never reach your potential. We all have blind spots. What good is it to live a life of blindness when you can grow through “iron sharpening iron?”

Thank you Todd, for not being a “yes person” in my life. For speaking truth even when it hurts. You are the perfect person for me.

Who do you have in your life that will do this?