Women are searching today as never before for fulfillment and purpose in life. What can fill the deepest longings of a woman’s soul ? Many answers are being given. Where is a woman to find peace in a storm, joy in adversity or hope in pain and loss?
At 22 years old I wrote out my vision for the next 25 years of life. Though 90% of those goals and objectives came into being, it was not in those dreams that my deepest needs were met.
What are a women’s deepest needs and how are they to be met? Since God created the woman, he knows her deepest needs and He alone can meet them.
1. A Woman Needs Love
If you have a husband he will never be able to provide you with the type of love your soul craves. When we look to a spouse to provide our deepest needs disappointment will fill the heart. Until this is clarified in a marriage both partners will feel an unrealistic pressure. For all you single ladies, not understanding this truth may put you on an endless quest to find something that does not exist. Though this blog today is for women, I feel compelled to say that the reason so many men such as Tiger Woods, Sanda Bullocks husband and even pastors have affairs is because they believe the lie that their current spouse is not meeting a deep need and they are desperately trying to fill it, even at the risk of losing someone they love. In the case of a pastor, he may have an affair at the risk of losing everything.
God alone can provide unconditional, self-sacrificial love, a love that has her highest good in view. The Bible tells us: “This is the kind of love we are talking about–not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.” When we turn to someone or something to fill that deep longing we will never be satisfied longterm.
2. A Woman Needs Security
Often a woman’s security is based on financial stability, her husband,m or her own success in the world. All these things can change. God never changes. “He is the same yesterday, today, yes and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). He alone can give true stability and security.
I used to think my security was solid as a rock. As a single person my course was focused. I was single minded and purpose driven. Then I got married. In 16+ years of marriage we have moved 8 times. In March of 2009 when we returned to our home in Madison I was excited. It felt so good to be in a familiar place and see people I had known for years. I like that I can go anywhere I desire in 5-10 minutes. Though the ministry experiernce of NYC was a good one I didn’t miss the traffic or the high crime rate. I like that I don’t have to lock my door to feel safe. After returning home I began to say I will never, never, never leave Madison again. It wasn’t long before God began to tell me that my security cannot be in a place and that he wants my willingness to go anywhere, do anything at anytime. So now we are praying about another move which will be #9.
3. A Woman Needs Peace
In a world full of changes, pressures and problems, where can a woman find inner peace? Only Jesus can provide inner peace regardless of outward circumstances. Through Him we can have peace with God. “I am leaving you with a gift–peace of mind and heart! And the peace I give isn’t fragile like the peace the world gives. So don’t be troubled or afraid” (John 14:27).
Last week I had some medical testing done. When I focused on God and his word I felt peace. When I spent time on WebMD I felt anxious. I admit I am a recovering MFO (medical freak out). Worry and anxiety are the opposite of trusting God. Sometimes I can’t believe the Lord is still teaching me this lesson. So basic yet at times difficult for me to apply.
4. A Woman Needs Purpose
God didn’t make one mold for all women. He has a unique plan, full of meaning and purpose for each of us–a purpose in life suited for our own special gifts and abilities, in the sphere of of His will and according to His word. “Listen to God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.” (Proverbs 3:6).
When you know your purpose you can live your priorities with passion and become the person God desires you to be. This is what I call living on purpose.
5. A Woman Needs a Sense of Personal Worth and Dignity
The world attributes worth to beauty, intelligence, talent or position in life. The Bible says “…man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (I Samuel 16:7). Our worth in His eyes is based on the character of our life and the qualities that he develops as we commit our life to Him.
All the needs a woman has cannot truly be met, in the deepest sense, unless her greatest need is met, and that is…
6. A Right Relationship With God
The Bible says that because of Adam’s sin in the garden, a right relationship with God was broken. Thus, we are all born sinners. “But I was born a sinner, yes, from the moment my mother conceived me” (Psalm 51:5). “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” “The wages of sin is death” (Romans 3:23; 6:23)
Because God is holy, He cannot have a relationship with sinful men and women. “Who can stand before the Lord, this Holy God?” (I Samuel 6:20). For in His sight no one living is righteous (Romans 3:20).
Many think a right relationship with God comes by trying to please Him, by doing good things for others, by going to church, or just believing that He lived. The Bible says that “whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all” (James 2:10). The Bible also says that all our good works are as filthy rags to Him (Isaiah 64:6). no one can be good enough to please God. His standard is perfection. The only one good enough to please God was Jesus Christ. He came to earth and perfectly kept God’s law; then as a perfect substitute, He died on the cross to pay the price sinners owed God for their sin (I Peter 3:10).
Maybe you’ve heard these things all yor life and perhaps you believe them to be true. But hearing these things and believing they are true does not give you a right relationship with God.
First, you must recognize your sin and confess to Him that you are a sinner, separated from Him and destined for hell (Luke 18:13).
Second, you must repent from your sins (Acts 17:30), that is “hate and forsake them because they are displeasing to God.”
Third, you must realize Christ alone was able by His death to satisfy God’s justice and pay for our sins. Through Him only can you be forgiven and saved from your sin (I Timothy 2:5-6)
Fourth, you must receive Christ as He is, the Lord of your life. Believe in Him from the heart to save you from your sins and commit yourself to Him as Lord to follow all the days of your life (Romans 10:13).
It is not until I committed my life to Christ that the deepest needs of my heart were met. In Him alone and in His purpose for my life is true peace and joy.
If you will repent of your sin and give your life to Him, you will know the true forgiveness, peace with God, true joy and eternal life (John 3:16; John 10:10).
How Can You Know For Certain That You Are A Christian?
Slowly but surely there will be changes in your life, because the Bible says that when one is in Christ “he is a new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17). You will begin to love God and His word. You will begin to love God and His word. You will love His people and His church. You will have a heart and desire for communion with Him in prayer. You will begin to hate sin and desire to please Him ( I John 2:3-4).
You can know that your greatest need is met is you have truly trusted Christ from the heart. As you grow in your relationship with Him, he will meet all of the other needs of your life (Matthew 6:33). “He will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). In Him you will find the living water and you will never tirst again (John 4:14). Heaven will be your eternal home (John 14:2-3).
If you made the decision to trust Christ today as your Lord and Savior I encourage you to tell someone else what you have done.
Lord, I pray for any woman who may have prayed to you today and ask that as you draw them to yourself they would be filled with your peace and love.