Who Are You When No One Is Looking?
No matter how gifted you are, or what talents you possess, no highly developed leadership skills make up for a lack of character. Without strong character everything will eventually come crashing down. Dr. Henry Cloud says who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities and opportunities will succeed.
Dr. Steven Berglas, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School believes that people lacking strong character are destined for one or more of the four A’s: Arrogance, painful feelings of aloneness, destructive adventure seeking or adultery. What can you do if you find yourself lacking a strong character? Or maybe you have already experienced one of the four A’s that Dr. Berglas identifies. What now? Immediately call a time out. Step away from some of the stress of your life and seek good professional counseling. Don’t buy into the lie that this is a phase which will pass. Trust me it will not go away. Unaddressed it will only grow and become more destructive.
While waiting for that counseling appointment here are 4 things you can do:
1. Recall. Look at every area of your life and see where you have compromised and let people down. Write down every instance you can recall from the last 3 months.
2. Repair. Look at the list you just wrote down. Are there patterns? Is there a weak area that keeps surfacing? You can’t repair what you don’t acknowledge.
3. Repent. Ask God to help you write down a list of people that you need to apologize to. Follow through with sincere apologies.
4. Rebuild. After repenting comes rebuilding your character. There are no short cuts to rebuilding your character and this will take some time. Create a growth plan that will help you become the man or woman that God wants you to be. Invite people into your life to be part of this process. A counselor will be one of your resources for rebuilding.
As we develop or rebuild our character we will have the peace and fulfillment that comes from living the life God desires for us. And we will experience a life that God blesses.