Today one of my FB friends, Penny Maxwell, posted this comment…”You know how much you value a relationship based on the level of discomfort you are willing to endure to see it progress and develop.” I love this! This is who Jesus is and what he did. She went on to share…Real relationships demand something from you. When iron sharpens iron sparks will fly. Have you felt sparks in any relationship lately? With friends? Family members? Spouse? Neighbors? Co-Workers? Do you really love those people God has put in your life? Or do you see your relationships as dispensible as a used kleenix? It disturbs me to see someone blow a person off. When we do this we totally miss who Jesus is to be within us. God tells us in I John 4 that we do not abide in Christ when we choose to respond this way. If we are Christians and do this we will sometimes attempt to spiritualize our actions. Deep down we usually know what we are doing but we put on a fake front that there is nothing else we can do to be a peacemaker. So we wash our hands of it so to speak and move on to the next relationship, until they do something to tick us off.
Over 20 years ago I attended a workshop in Colorado that I never forgot called Conflict is Positive. It was great and certainly changed my perspective. Do I still have conflict? Absolutely. Do I always respond the Biblical way God commands? Unfortunately not. Do all of my relationships end happily ever after? Sad but no. Sometimes you can try to work through an issue and the other person insists on holding onto the anger and will blow you off. I once had a friend blow me off because I told her our preschool teacher informed me her son ate 7 pieces of pizza at the school party. She was very sensitive about her son and refused to speak to me ever again. She was in the church we served for years but to this day refuses to speak to me and others who unknowingly have offended her. She never told me how I offended her even when I asked her. I heard that she was offended from others she had shared with. By the way, Proverbs 6:16-19 tells us God HATES it when we spread strife among people.
Can you imagine how our marriages would be if we refused to deal with conflict? I imagine we would all be divorced many times. Can you imagine if your children refused to deal with confict? Conflict is good. Unresolved conflict is not good. Micah Vanderburg commented on FB page that “people need to understand that the willingness to go through discomfort is for the development of the relationship and not the demise.
Is there anyone in your life today that you need to call? Meet with face to face? Don’t be a wuss and send an email or letter in the mail. Put on your BGP and do the right thing. Will every relationship you do this with develop? Many will but a few probably will not. Spiritual immaturity, dysfunction and our baggage will sometimes hinder our doing the right thing. If a person holds a grudge and blows you off then your hands may be tied. But you can pray for healing and live out how Jesus taught us we should value people.
To check out a great blog by Penny Maxwell go to www.PennyMaxwell.wordpress.com or you can reach her on my blogroll.