Top 10 Commandments of Mentoring, #10
#10 Bring Closure
All mentoring should have closure. This helps to bring a satisfactory end to the experience. When mentoring has no closure it usually dwindles down to uneasy feelings on the part of both people. Mentoring is never meant to be forever ongoing. A happy ending will include closure in which both parties evaluate, acknowledge what was helpful and where empowerment occurred and then mutually end the mentoring relationship. What frequently happens in successful mentoring is an ongoing friendship that allows occasional “spot” mentoring as needed. I am very thankful that I have remained friends with many women that I have ministered to in the past. It has been a joy to serve with some of these women in different ministries.
Bringing closure is probably the most violated of the commandments, and the most detrimental. Even unsuccessful mentoring should have closure. Because closure is so important to me I am very grateful that 98% of the mentoring relationships I have been in were given this important end. I want to share from personal experience that I understand closure may not always be possible. Sometimes a person may lack the emotional maturity to handle what is needed to bring closure. By the way, a great book to read about this type of emotional maturity is by Pete Scazerro called The Emotionally Healthy Church. Unfortunately the people who need this type of book the most usually will not respond to what Pete has written. But this is a great read and I highly recommend it.
What about you? Any war stories on closure you want to share?