Someone said that solving a problem doesn’t end our problems—it only brings up the next one. How true. Problems will never be eliminated from our lives and I find it very interesting how people respond to them. Most people don’t like problems and will do almost anything to get away from them. There are task problems and people problems. Today I will share a few thoughts on the most common type of problems—people problems, and how we choose to respond.
1. The Pretender: For a variety of reasons this person does not want to deal with the problem and therefore will pretend it does not exist. If the problem is with a group of people or an individual they will “peace fake” instead of working through honest conflict resolution. In a marriage a person may all of a sudden want a divorce but in reality the issue was there festering like a cancer. The end result of denial is often depression or bitterness toward a person, group or church.
2. The Avoider: This person will often use the excuse of being too busy to respond but in reality they are just avoiding the problem. This may be due to not knowing HOW to solve it or not knowing WHY to solve it. A result of avoiding is stress and fatigue. An unresolved problem will be a weight on your shoulder and will hold you back.
To deny or avoid is a result of emotional or spiritual immaturity. Both the pretender and avoider will suffer from negative emotions that will keep them from being the person that God wants them to be.
3. The Solver – This person has a James 1 attitude and views problems as an opportunity for growth and development. They rebound quickly and will not let problems hold them back from being all God wants them to be.
In my life I have denied problems, avoided them and solved them. At the next post I will share some principles for solving task and people problems.