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DuAnne Seeley

About DuAnne Seeley

http://fireflygraphicarts.net/duanneseeley

Posts by DuAnne Seeley:

The Deepest Love

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Valentines roses

I love Valentine’s Day. Before marriage I would speak to women about God’s love for us being the greatest love of all. I enjoy sharing what Scripture teaches us about love…God loves us with an everlasting love. He has drawn us with loving kindness. His lovingkindness is great toward us. Love covers all transgressions. Love is from God. Keep yourselves in the love of God. Etc. We were born with a desire to be loved. Satan has extorted this desire. Only God can satisfy this longing to be loved with perfect love. Many times I hear women say they hate Valentine’s Day if they are currently not in a relationship. The Lord has blessed me with a wonderful husband and I am so grateful. All you single women out there need to know the truth…no matter how awesome your spouse is, God is the only one who can satisfy that longing for the deepest love. If you look to a husband or romantic interest to fill that need you will always be disappointed. When I was single I learned a great lesson from Margaret Maxwell, wife of John Maxwell. During Q&A at a conference someone asked her: Does John make you happy? Her immediate response was “No. That is not his job.” Wow. Straight forward. Simple. True.

I have thought about having this on my tombstone: DuAnne Seeley ~ Loved By God.

The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy. He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy. Zephaniah 3:17

Top 10 Ways To Select Your Inner Circle

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The leader will take feedback and questions from her people but will act on what she believes is right.

Top Ten Qualities I Look For In My Inner Circle

1. Relationship with God – Her love relationship with God is more important than any other single factor in her life. A woman can be the most gifted, intelligent and best communicator in the world, but if she does not possess a growing and dynamic walk with Jesus how can she lead others in this? Everything in her Christian life should be an overflow of her walk with the Lord. Is she passionate about this?

2. Character – Most leadership failures come from lack of character rather than lack of intelligence. You can do much to mentor a person in ministry and leadership skills but you are completely vulnerable to the person with a weak character. The weakness will show up at the time of highest stress, at the very time you need the person to step up to the plate. Character is sectional, like a grapefruit. Everyone has strong sections and weak. One person may be strongly loyal to the CEO, but irresponsible and lack discipline in the day to day. Another person person may be loyal and responsible until she gets a chance to enhance her ego. She may begin to envy the recognition of another and question why she is not getting the same. Ego will weaken character as much as anything I know. As a leader you must evaluate all the sections, build on the good ones and avoid the weak ones. The bottom line is that you need people of strong character that you can count on.

3. Flexible – Third I want a person who is flexible and does not confuse flexibility with lack of integrity. Some people accuse others of lacking integrity, when the issue has nothing to do with that. The only thing at stake is flexibility. One of the things that indicates a healthy flexibility is optimism. Positive people look at change as expected and part of growing a church or organization. Negative people are opinionated and think their was is the only way of doing something and feel threatened if challenged.

4. Excited About Learning – I like to have people around me who are hungry to grow. Nothing helps a church or organization more than a leader who wants to grow.

5. Team Players – A true team player does not poach on other people’s responsibility but is available to help at their request. When she sits in a meeting she is open in her remarks and does not go around making comments privately.

6. Confronts in a Healthy Manner – The purpose of confronting conflict is to redeem not to destroy. Deal with any anger prior to the confrontation so that your motive is pure and the relationship is not destroyed.

7. Comfortable Being Reviewed – In business this is done on a regular basis. But in the Christian setting many people seem to resist review. They feel that they have been called and gifted by God and therefore the Pastor, President, CEO or Department Head is not really their supervisor—God is. They have the attitude that “we are all equal on this team.” If their concept of what God wants them to do (which is usually what they enjoy doing) conflicts with what the organization expects of them, it’s too bad. Such an attitude brings havoc into the work of the kingdom.

8. Slow to Anger – If a person has a problem with anger it will be a show up in every area of life. They can hide it for a while but eventually it will surface. People are like a tube of toothpaste. When squeezed from life pressure and stress, what is on the inside will always come out. Angry people people are usually negative and also pout. This will suck the life out of you. “Keep away from angry, short-tempered men, lest you learn to be like them and endanger your soul.” Proverbs 22:24

9. Positive Attitude – Negative people will suck the life out of you. Run from them. Enough said.

10. Sense of Humor – Life is short so my inner circle must have a great sense of humor. My sense of humor developed while serving on staff at Skyline Church in San Diego. We laughed so much (all the time) that it’s a wonder we ever got any work done. Laughter is great medicine.

How can we find and recruit such people? My three steps are pray, invest, and select which I will talk about on another post. Next week I will talk about What To Do When You Realize You Made a Mistake in Choosing Someone For Your Inner Circle?

7 Types of Girlfriends I Need in My Life

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Friends are an important part of life and without them life would not be as rewarding. I’ve learned that some friends are in your life for only a season, some for a reason and a few for a lifetime. I have a variety of friends in my life but the most important factor we all share is honesty. They are honest with me and I with them. They don’t freak out or have a drama meltdown or talk about me to others (including their husband) with any issue that comes up. Here are 7 types of friends that I Need…

1. THE FUN FRIEND

Laughter is good medicine for the soul and so is a fun friend. This type of friend has a great sense of humor and is just fun to have around. You laugh a lot together and probably cry together too, from laughing so hard or at the right movie. I have never been into shopping (not even the day after Thanksgiving), but I can handle it with a fun friend. She can even make cleaning fun. The more of these you have the better!

2. THE POLITICAL FRIEND

I enjoy being active in politics and that involves keeping informed of all that is going on. My political friend and I enjoy discussing issues and sharing our views. Maybe we don’t agree on everything but that’s okay. We share current articles, emails and new reports. Liz has been the best political friend I have ever had.

3. THE FIT FRIEND

These friends are important but I seemed to have more of them when I lived in California. Lots more. This type of friend is obviously fit and eats healthy. Much of what you do centers around being healthy and you probably exercise with her sometimes. My current schedule makes it difficult to exercise with a friend but it’s still important to grow in the area of fitness. Julie was the most healthy friend I ever had and I sure miss connecting with her.

4. THE HEART FRIEND

The heart friend is one that I can share the deepest longing of my heart, my dreams, passion and the depths of my soul. We talk a lot about Jesus, God’s Word, how the Holy Spirit is speaking to us and ministry. This type of friend will keep EVERYTHING I share with her confidential, even from her husband. If we have a temporary conflict she does not share it with anyone and we usually work it out soon. Sometimes I’ve had heart friends that I had to let go because they didn’t keep what I shared with them confidential. I didn’t blow them off and stop being a friend but I had to change their place in my life. If you are in any type of leadership position you must choose your inner circle very carefully. These friends are rare jewels and come and go as I move around the country.

5. THE PROVERBS 31 FRIEND

This friend is one who has been married longer than I have been and she will have children who have passed the stage that mine are in. She is not perfect because none of us are but she has walked the road before me and strives to be a godly wife and mother. She is a great sounding board. The bottom line is that she motivates and challenges me to be a better wife and mother. Thank you Sharon Maguire, Kathy Keller and Kay Owen.

6. THE INTERCESSOR FRIEND

This is a friend that I can pray with. She has a heart and passion for prayer, does it and believes in the power of it. Terry Porteles was my intercessor friend in NYC and we prayed together as well as corporately at the Brooklyn Tabernacle Prayer Meeting on Tuesday nights when I lived in NYC. Even if distance separates you can pray on the phone together.

7. THE MENTOR FRIEND

This friend is rare indeed but they are out there of you want them bad enough. When you connect with a mentor friend either casually or in a structured setting, they will challenge you to stretch and grow. The first female mentor friend I had was Sheryl Fleisher and she challenged me on having a dynamic walk with Christ through prayer and in areas of ministry. Carol Kent helped develop me as a public speaker. Geri Scazzero challenged me in emotionally healthy spirituality. Kathy Keller challenged me when I lived in NYC on trusting God with my children.

In my field of work I have had male mentors but because I am married and they are married we are not going to hang out together. These mentors I will share about at another blog post.

This list is not all inclusive but the most important for me. Sometimes what you learn from friends will overlap but I have found that most women have certain strengths that draw me. Don’t you love hanging out with women you connect with? What about you? Who are your girlfriends?

My Chronicles on The Daniel Plan, Week #6

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Have you ever said you were not going to weigh anymore and you did it anyway? Guilty. Did it today. The results? Other than a couple of ounces I did not lose any weight from the past 7 days. Todd lost half a pound. Not what I had hoped. However I feel good. We were faithful to our commitment. Last week I made brownies and cherry pie for the boys and did not eat one crumb.

This is the time when I will be keep my commitment to the Lord even if I don’t see fast results on the scale. It’s being faithful in the day in and day out. Doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do.

Have you ever been there? This verse came to my mind this morning:

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Galatians 6:9

I Gave Up Facebook Because…

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Yesterday I shared that I was going to deactivate my Facebook account. Today I have been emailed, called, & texted asking me WHY.The bottom line of why I gave up FB is because God put it on my heart to do so. FB can be a good thing but it can also become a negative.

This year my theme word is “intentional.” I want to be more intentional about everything the Lord has put on my heart.

I am not angry at anyone.

I want more time for my priorities.

I want to avoid drama.

I prefer face to face over coffee or at the least on the phone.

The greatest value I can add to people is up close and personal.

The desire of my heart is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. A man I have been praying would accept Christ for several months threatened a woman on FB instead of using his man card and talking calmly to her personally or in person. It was by far one of the most obnoxious and disturbing posts I have ever read. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from the fray.

Social media is a good tool. It’s fun. My decision to give up FB is best for me but maybe not best for you.

I invite you to join me on Twitter or Instagram. You can also email me at DuAnne@MSWChurch.com.

My New Theme for 2014

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Every year I prayerfully choose a word or phrase that I believe God wants for my life over the next 12 months. Last year it was transformational. This year my theme word will be “intentional.”

Intentional. Done on purpose. Deliberate. Planned. Intended. Meant. Studied. Knowing. Premeditated. Having to do with intention.

This year I want to be, do, live, think, relate, love and live intentional. I want to be intentional in relationships. My marriage. With my children. In my home. In my walk with the Lord. In ministry. In my commitments. In my physical health. In everything. No excuses.

Each year the Lord does a work in my life for good. I have learned that whatever my word or phrase is, God is going to develop and mold me.

As I was praying over this word today the Lord brought something to my mind he wanted me to detach myself from. Something that I enjoy. Facebook. Actually he began to tell me this a week ago but today it was like “DO IT.”

Facebook in and of itself is not a bad thing. If can be a great thing. I enjoy keeping up with people I care about. I enjoy connecting with people from my past. Both Todd and I love seeing photos of children we know. However sometimes Facebook can be the opposite of intentional. Too often I see Facebook as the opposite of being real. A person dislikes something one has done and instead of being intentional and talking to the person, they post something in hopes someone may see it and understand the indirect message. A photo will disturb someone and again we don’t say anything we just post something about it to another person. Have you even known about a husband and wife having serious conflict, maybe even adultery, physical abuse, drug or porn addiction involved but on FB they communicate to each other as if their marriage is something else? I don’t believe for a minute we should air out our dirty laundry about anyone, especially family or close friends on social media. Nor do I believe one should lash out at another on social media. There is no value in that. At the same time when we use it as a platform to put up a façade that to me seems the opposite of being intentional about being real. We live in a culture that is so full of pretense and FB seems to feed this. For many Facebook is feeding a dysfunction and unhealthiness that is in desperate need of healing. So today I turned off my personal Facebook account.

This is the first thing God put on my heart about being intentional. I expect there will be other changes He wants me to make in the next 12 months. I don’t know how long I will be off FB. It could be several weeks, months, a year or even forever. I take my cue from Him.

Are You Prepared for a Personal Storm?

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Yesterday an ice storm hit Birmingham, Alabama hard. The city wasn’t prepared for it. The local weather stations communicated they would get a “light dusting at best” and most of the ice and snow would be south of central Alabama. The problem is that the storm shifted. This changed the forecast but thousands of people were already at work, children and youth were at school, and people were out doing life as normal. Thousands were stuck on interstates, highways, at schools, at work and everywhere you can imagine. There were many accidents, some fatal and I even heard of folks trying to walk who fell on the ice and suffered head injuries.

As of this morning many people in Birmingham are still stranded. This morning I’m sitting with a cup of coffee in my PJ’s while enjoying family time. What’s the difference? We were prepared for the ice storm thanks to the local news.

The Bible teaches that each of us will experience personal storms. Are you prepared? What can you do today to prepare you for the storms of tomorrow? Here are a few things I have learned over the years.

1. Spend consistent time in the Word today learning who God is. Knowing God will develop our faith and trust. If you don’t know who he is and what he is like your faith will be tossed to and fro with doubt when trials come. Notice I said “when” and not “if.” When I disciple someone we do a lesson called “Who is God” and learn about his attributes. Understanding who God is will be one of the best ways to get ready.

2. Keep a blessing book. When difficult seasons come it is tempting to focus on the trial today instead of his goodness of yesterday. Reviewing how God has so richly blessed my life encourages me to focus on the positive instead of what I am tempted to view as negative.

3. Read helpful stories of others. The first time I read “Sacred Romance” I didn’t like it at all. I preferred a life without storms and accepting the principles forced me to acknowledge they were coming and I needed to expect them. The second time I read this book I was motivated to accept the benefits of pain and trials. There are other books I have read that have been helpful in preparing me…“Shattered Dreams” by Dr. Larry Crabb and also “Today Matters” by Dr. John Maxwell.

Experience teaches me that life can be calm one moment and chaos the next. Within a matter of moments your world can be turned upside down. The accidental death of a child, an unexpected job loss, a cancer diagnosis, divorce, rebellious teen, addiction or long term illness. The life that was now calm is now stormy.

A person who is not ready for a personal storm can become bitter, resentful, cynical and even engage in self sabotage. i.e. unhealthy relationships, alcohol, drugs and even suicide. The can live life in a pit of destruction missing out on the abundant life God desires us to have. (John 10:10)

My first prayer is that you will be assured that within every torrent there is a calm center—the eye of the storm is Jesus. My second prayer is that you will get ready for the storm and be prepared. If you are ready it may be an unexpected pathway to joy.

Are you prepared for a storm?

My Chronicles on The Daniel Plan, Week #5

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As of today Todd & I have been on The Daniel Plan for 4 weeks. He has lost 17 lbs! Go Todd! I have lost 6 lbs! Both of us have dropped a size. The most important is that we feel good. We haven’t gone hungry or felt deprived in any way.

Yesterday at church Todd spoke about how important community is to people. God made us that way. This is a biblical principle. I found 58 verses about “one another” in the Word. I’m convinced now that community has the power to change your overall health more than any doctor or clinic.

I was glad when Todd preached yesterday that he said being married is not what he is talking about when he says community. You need community whether you are married or not. Here are some benefits to community:

~Community is God’s answer to loneliness
~Community is God’s answer to defeat
~Community is God’s answer to fatigue
~Community is God’s answer to despair

When you connect with a loving community of friends, you will be better able to cope with things like fatigue, fear, frustration, and failure. You will be better able to handle and despair and most important, not have to walk through them alone. This is from Rick Warren’s book but is in Scripture.

Who are you in community with?

Wild Things Still Happen When I Pray

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After over 30 years I am still amazed at the wild things that God does when I pray. I love what Mark Batterson says about prayer: “Prayer adds an element of surprise to your life that is more than a surprise party or a surprise gift or surprise romance. In fact, prayer turns life into a party, a gift, a romance.” (The Circle Maker)

Just a week ago a young lady confided in me that a teacher saw her over the weekend and in front of other people called her a “piece of trash.” There was no confrontation or argument, this was shared as a greeting. The girl was dumbfounded and I’m sure felt embarrassed and devastated. This happened in front of friends and in front of parents of a boy she had planned to attend homecoming with. As a result of his parents hearing this comment they told their son he was not allowed to go to homecoming with her unless they drove them.

This girl has a heart of gold and is in fact a precious young lady that my family has grown to love. I encouraged her to talk to her mom but she decided not to in fear that she would be hurt as well. After praying about this situation we asked her permission to talk with the school supervisor. We spoke to the supervisor last Thursday and she agreed that the girl is a wonderful young lady and would speak to the teacher.

The rest of this story is what is wild. My heart was still burdened about this whole thing. I had never met her young guy friend or his parents but decided to pray intentionally that I could meet them and speak up for this girl. Last Friday at an event I met the young man. I was disappointed that his parents were not there.

I continued to pray that I could somehow meet them. Please understand that that we had never met him or his family and had no connection with them whatsoever. Yet I wanted to take up for this girl as any mother would.

Yesterday Todd and I are meeting in his home office and Aaron came in and said something was going on in front of our house. There were 5 cars out front and a police car. I went outside and saw the young man who was going with our friend to homecoming. I asked if he needed anything and he said no that his sister had just been in an accident. I then asked if his parents were there and he pointed to his mom. She walked over to me and I introduced myself and told her I had met her son the week before when our young lady friend had introduced us. Do you realize what just happened? I PRAYED AND ASKED THE LORD FOR AN OPPORTUNITY TO MEET THESE PARENTS AND THEY PARK IN FRONT OF MY HOME AFTER HAVING AN ACCIDENT. WOW!

In closing I bragged on our young lady friend to the parents in hopes of correcting a wrong.

I have so many stories of wild things happening when I pray. Just wanted to share this one that I am still amazed with.

Are you praying for the little things in your life as well as the big? I challenge you to do so and experience the gift of surprise every time He works.

Would love to hear your comments of how God has answered prayer in your life.

My Chronicles on The Daniel Plan, #4

Three weeks ago Todd & I started The Daniel Plan. Today is the 1st day of week #4. We did a detox for 10 days which is more restrictive. Now we are just eating healthy. Nothing processed. Vegies, fruits, protein & whole grains.

We feel great. We don’t go hungry. Still not craving anything. No headaches. Sleeping better than I have in years. At my previous blog I shared more about the health benefits.

Something new I have noticed this week is that healthy food tastes so much better. For some reason (maybe a reader knows) when we ate junk we thought it tasted great. Pizza, burgers, fries, chips, etc. Now we crave some of the new recipes I have been making. One of my favorites is the baked broccoli. You shake broccoli in a bag with fresh garlic, Dash & a Tbsp of olive oil and then bake for 30 minutes. Wow. Never knew I could like broccoli so much.

Last night we made a “skinny frosty” which contains almond milk, cocoa, vanilla, ice & a tsp of honey. Put in the blender. Awesome.

We have also started juicing. OMG you will never want the grocery store juice again. We use fresh fruit, vegies and whatever you want to throw in. So good.

Normally for breakfast I have steel cut oatmeal or fruit and nuts or an egg stir fried with some vegies. Or a smoothie.

I made a decision to not weigh anymore. Todd has 15 lbs and I have only lost 5 lbs. BUT today I realize I am down one size. Yeah. The focus of The Daniel Plan is not to lose weight but to get healthy. To glorify Christ with your body.

Funny how we as Christ followers can teach about so many other things in Scripture but when it comes to being a good steward of our body…that is overlooked. This year I decided to embrace all of Scripture. Including the hardest part for me which is avoiding those things which are toxic to my body…mainly processed food.

What about you? What are your health goals for 2014?

My Chronicles of The Daniel Plan, Week #3

Today, Monday, January 13, 2014 begins week #3 on The Daniel Plan. Wow. Two weeks ago I started detox. After 10 days I went on the basic DP way of eating which is nothing processed, FRUITS, 50% vegies, 25% protein, 25% whole grains. None of the whites: sugar, flour, pasta, rice or potatoes, dairy. Coffee/Tea with caffeine optional.

My summary of the last 2 weeks: I didn’t know I was feeling so bad until I started feeling so good! Here are the immediate changes:

I crave nothing
I get full easier
I sleep better
I wake more easily
I don’t wake thinking “must have coffee”
I have more energy
Not one headache
Less bloating
Face less puffy
No stomach pain (had almost daily prior to DP)

Todd has lost a total of 10 lbs since we stated 2 weeks ago today. I have lost 4 lbs.

If anyone is thinking of doing this let me encourage you to depend on God’s power. Todd spoke about this at church yesterday.

If you are serious about improving your life and your health you need to invest in a time preferably in the morning having a devotional time. If this is new to you just spend 10 minutes reading the Bible, meditating on God’s word, write down what you are learning, and then talk to God in prayer about it. This healthy habit is called a “Quiet Time.” If you would like to learn more about it email me at DuAnne@MSWChurch.com.

If you are doing the Daniel Plan I would love to hear from you! I’ve started a FB page that you would be welcome to join the community. .

My Chronicles of The Daniel Plan, Week #2

Today is Monday, January 6, 2014. On January 29th my husband started a new teaching series at church called “The Daniel Plan.” This is my chronicle.

For one week I have been on the detox phase which is not required but after scorning 148 on the medical questionnaire I knew I needed this. No coffee. No caffeine. Nothing processed. None of the 5 whites: sugar, flour, pasta, potatoes or rice. (sweet potatoes and brown or black rice allowed.) No wheat during detox.

7 days. Not hard at all. I did purchase some special herbal teas to replace my morning coffee that I love. I have not felt deprived. I expected to go through major withdrawal but I did not. Todd has lost 5 lbs. I have lost 2 lbs. Neither of us went hungry.

This simple plan is far more than a diet plan. It is an appetizing approach to achieving a healthy lifestyle where folks are encouraged to get healthier together. The 5 key essentials are faith, food, fitness, focus and friends.

I feel different. I have not been hungry. I have thought about chocolate and ice cream. But I have not given into temptation. Becoming healthier has been part of my devotions and prayer time.

Here is The Daniel Plan in a nutshell…

50% non-starchy vegetables
25% healthy animal or vegetable proteins
25 percent healthy starch or whole grains
Drink – water or herbal hot or iced teas
Fruit

“Then God said, I give you every seed bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it.” Genesis 1:29

My Chronicles of The Daniel Plan, Week 1

My husband decided last year that he would begin a preaching series on The Daniel Plan. For some time we have felt we needed to live healthier lifestyles but with our hectic schedules my love of cooking (and eating) it was easy to procrastinate. Not that we haven’t tried. We have been on health food kicks but they seemed to last short term. We even went through a vegan phase. As our health has changed the past few years we decided that we had to be a leader in this area of Biblical stewardship.

The Bible has much to say about our bodies. Scripture teaches we are to be a steward of our bodies and more. The first week of our series Todd spoke about how we are to offer our bodies as living sacrifices to God as an act of worship. Even though I have been a Christian over 30 years I am learning so many new things about what Scripture has to say about health and our bodies. Yeah I’ve been convicted.

Prior to marriage I was a size 8. I gained a lot of weight with each of my pregnancies. With age my metabolism has slowed and I also have a low thyroid now. But I haven’t been a good steward of my body. And I feel it.

I’ve been on every diet you can imagine. I’ve measured, counted calories, eaten pre-packaged, fasted, juiced, etc. Sure I would lose some weight by my motivation would change after a while. The first week of our series Todd taught that we need to rely on God’s power vs. will power. As we looked at 17 verses my conviction grew. I knew that the Lord wanted me to commit to living a healthy lifestyle.

So here we go. Todd has 25 pounds to lose and I have 40 pounds to lose. But the main thing here is not about looking better it is about living healthy out of obedience to Christ.

My friend Christie Crowson sent this to me today:
“It’s not about the mirror; it’s about the one we are trying to mirror.”

We are starting today, December 30th with a 10 Day Detox that page 294 of “The Daniel Plan” talks about. The book offers a detox medical symptom questionnaire. Todd scored 80. I scored 148. Here are the possible results:

Optimal is less than 10
Mild toxicity is 10-50
Moderate toxicity is 50-100
Severe toxicity is over 100

I’m not too excited about giving up my coffee. I love having a cup of coffee during my devotions. And with Todd. And with friends. I also love chocolate. I love ice cream. But I’m going to do this. Will let you know how it goes.

Happy 2013 Birthday to Todd

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Happy Birthday Todd
You are a servant as we co-labor in God’s church.
You give of yourself unselfishly to meet the needs of others.
You are quick to forgive others & take the high road.
You provide hilarious interludes
when I take myself too seriously.
You are a fun-loving, adventuresome, & creative husband.
You enthusiastically support my dreams.
You are an exciting lover & a stimulating conversationalist.
You have a passion for God that is demonstrated by your actions.
You love your sons and daily seek to be a better father to them.
You are faithful in spending daily time with Jesus in the Word.
You listen to God’s voice before that of others.
You have lived your life with a willingness to go anywhere, do anything,
and anytime that God for our call.
You are my best friend and I love you.

Every day I am with you
I respect you more.
Every day I share with you
I love you more.
Every day I learn more about who you are
I respect you more.
Every day we share our dreams,
I still look forward to our future together.
Every morning when I wake by your side
after 20 years,
It feels like Christmas morning.
I love you.
DuAnne

The Last Year, part 2

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Yesterday I blogged about this being “The Last Year” before my first born son goes off to college. I was asked about practical ways we spend time together as a family, here is the standard & also what I am started doing this year.

Standard: Most nights we have dinner together. When the boys are have ball games we usually eat late. Family night 2 x week. Church together weekly then lunch if we don’t have a meeting. Could count on one hand the number of times the boys have missed church. A family vacation every year. Sunday is family lunch day unless we have a church lunch meeting which boys attend if we do.

New this year: Todd has made the boys breakfast for many years. I make their school lunch. This year I have coffee with Matthew as he eats and then we read Scripture together. Once a week we have a date night. This year I will invite him on any speaking trips that I go on. We are visiting colleges as a family. We have also started going to the gym together as a family. I try to keep flex time in my schedule for anything spontaneous. I make it a priority to be home when he arrives from school. Wednesday is the only exception.

What about you? What ideas do you have for spending quality time with your family?

The Last Year

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Almost 18 years ago I had one of my most embarrassing moments. Matthew was less than 24 hours old and as I was holding him in my arms I burst into tears. Hysteria is a better word of it. When Todd asked me what was wrong I replied “I’m thinking about him going off to college.” We have laughed many times about that moment but I am not laughing today. I don’t know where the year went but like sand sifting through my hands that time is almost upon us. This is my sons LAST YEAR.

My closest friends describe me as passionate. About Christ. About my call but also about being a wife and mother. Especially about being a mother to my sons. Before starting this school year I made some decisions about my schedule but I continue to adjust as the Lord speaks to my heart. And as I listen God has confirmed that he wants me to live every year as if it is “The Last Year.”

The implications of this decision is that I am slower to say yes. No is used more frequently. I am flexible in what I have already planned. I also pray more about every invitation.

Years ago I was more rigid. Today even though I co-pastor with my husband, serve as an administrator for BCA, mentor women leaders in ministry and speak on occasion, I will put my family first even though it means adjusting my schedule at the last minute.

Today I felt the Lord wanted me to spend some personal time with Matthew instead of attend a weekly Bible study that my husband leads. Years ago I don’t think I would have changed my schedule on the day of. As I continue to learn to prioritize I know that my decision is Holy Spirit directed. So tonight, during this last year, Matthew and I will have a date night.

A year from now, when Matthew is off at college, hopefully I will continue to live everyday as if it is the last year.

Is there anything in your schedule that God is speaking to you about?

The Next Step

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Change. Why do we resist it? Some more so than others. Human nature is drawn to being comfortable. We like to feel safe. Change requires something from us. The truth is that God loves us to much to leave us where we are. There is no growth without change. There is no change without loss. We resist loss.

Where ever you are in your life, your relationship with Christ and your ministry, the Lord will continue to call you to take the next step. Until you take your next step you’re stuck.

Some people can attend church for decades & remain the same, because they refuse to take their next step in their walk with Christ. People will quit going to church because they don’t want to be challenged to take the next step. They are happy with where they are and choose status quo. Every person and situation is unique, but the principal remains the same, God wants you to take the next step in your relationship with him and grow.

The next step that Jesus wants us to take isn’t always easy…but it is always right! What step is God calling you to take today?

Summer 2013 Bucket List

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Every year on the first day of summer I feel compelled to write a bucket list. This year my theme is “simple gratitude” and the list reflects it.

1. Write in our “Blessing Book” 3 x each week.
2. Read 2 books with boys and discuss during dinner: “Seven Principles Every Teen Should Know” by Andy Stanley and “The Sacred Search” by Dr. Gary Thomas.
3. Pick blueberries.
4. Family beach day at least 2 x each month.
5. Ride bike 3 x each week.
6. Visit my mom in Birmingham.
7. Go to the library once every week or two.
8. Blog once a month.
9. Clean & organize garage with Aaron.
10. Visit 3 colleges with Matthew.

What is on your list for this summer?

15 Things I Love About My 15 Year Old Son

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In the news we usually hear about how difficult teens are. I know there are some great kids out there and each year on my sons birthday I enjoy reflecting on what I appreciate most. Todd and I began praying for our children before they were born so we give all the credit to God who is working within them. Happy Birthday Aaron! As I think about your last year here is what are thankful for most in your life:

1. Conviction’s from Scripture. It seems like the things you feel strongest about are from growing convictions from the Word of God. Keep this up and you will enjoy your spiritual journey more.

2. Integrity. We are so grateful that you are growing in personal integrity. In a world full of compromise and no absolutes, it thrills us that you do what you say you will do when you say you will do it. It gives us joy that it bothers you to see someone cheat or steal.

3. Discernment. We see that you are growing in your ability to see truth.

4. Hard Work Ethic. Yesterday on spring break you chose to power wash for 5 hours non-stop without anyone even asking you to do the work. We see you work hard at whatever you do. This will serve you all through your life.

5. Passion for Learning. Though you have always enjoyed learning I see a renewed passion for learning that is unique to many. We love that you enjoy books, research and learning from others. This will serve you well as a leader and someone who can add value to others.

6. Holiness. We see you growing in your desire for holiness. This will help you live pure and righteous before the Lord and grow in your intimacy with him.

7. Servanthood. Remember that true joy comes in serving others.

8. Tenacity. We see this in basketball, running and violin. You tackle projects and obstacles until you get the result you seek. We also see this in your grades. You continue to work hard regardless of the distractions to do other things. One of two boys to make all A’s in middle school is something to be proud of.

9. Frugal. Good stewardship will serve you well.

10. Vision. We enjoy seeing you dream ahead for your future.

11. Wisdom. You are making wise choices

12. Choosing friends carefully. Genuine friendships should be positive and healthy and move you in the direction of who you want to be. A counterfeit will move the relationship the other way. This is one area that we are the most excited about for you. You seem to understand that friendships will determine the direction and quality of all of our lives.

13. Respectful of Authority. This character trait will serve you in every area of your life too. Praying you continue to remember God works through authority.

14. Teachable. This enables personal growth and development and will help you reach your greatest potential.

15. Discipline. I can’t say enough about how God will use the discipline you exercise to become successful in every area of life. Grateful to see this in you… discipline in getting up, going to bed, work (taking it around 3rd base,) physical, mental and spiritual.

All of these things we do love about you, it’s character. When everyone else is “doing it” this will keep you from joining in. These principles will impact your decisions and every defining moment you face. So we will continue to pray that you grow in these areas your 15th year.

We love you son and feel so grateful to the Lord for the young man you are becoming.

Saying Goodbye to Don

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I’ve been in ministry for many years so one would think saying goodbye is something I find easy. It’s not.  One facebook status I posted said “I’ve spent my life leaving people I love so that I can love people I have not met yet.”  Today, several days after the funeral of a precious man, Don Peterson, I wan’t to dedicate this blog to him.

I remember the moment I met Don. We invited his wife Norma to take some pictures for us at church on Easter, 2011. Don came with her to assist. Guess he got more than he bargained for because he spent most of his time helping us find a child we thought was lost. We still chuckle at that one.

Don was always a joy to be around. Friendly. Kind. Helpful. Interesting. Fun to name a few.

At the beginning of last summer my youngest son wanted to plant a garden. Aaron is a hard worker but even I wondered how long it would take him to prepare the hard dirt for planting as he worked on his hands and knees. Don drove by and saw him and took it upon himself to mentor Aaron to have the best garden he had ever seen. He showed him how to till the ground, plant seed and plants and tie them up, water, weed, etc. This was not a one day event for Don and my son but a daily job. Aaron loved it. He asked Don questions and soaked up every bit of information given. One morning Aaron had slept in a little and when he got outside Don had already been working in the garden for a while. This experience may seem like a small thing to some, but to Aaron and his family it was (and always will be) a big deal. Aaron connected to Don and always felt a special fondness toward him because of what they shared.

The Sunday before Don had his stroke we had such a nice conversation. I walked away feeling more energized and appreciative after connecting with him. As I left him my thought was “that Don & Norma are such a joy to connect with.”

At Don’s funeral I learned more about Don through his brother-in-law and son when they shared. My respect for him grew higher and I wished my family had been able to spend more time with him.

As I think about Don Peterson I am grateful that God put him in our lives. Living away from grandparents and family in Illinois can sometimes be difficult but the Lord has been so gracious to put people like Don in our lives.

Thanks Don for your ministry to us. We look forward to seeing you in Heaven.

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