Nothing can prepare you for what it’s like to lose your mom. I’ve had many friends throughout the years who have lost their own mothers. I felt sad for them and offered words of comfort. I cooked a casserole and bought cards to help my friends “get through” the grief. I had absolutely no idea though how excruciating it is to no longer have your mother with you.
No matter what I write in this blog, if you haven’t lost your mother, you won’t fully understand the depths of grief one goes through. The pain is crippling, and it hits you at random moments. One minute you might be fine, and the next minute you are curled up in a ball on your bedroom floor in inconceivable pain. If you have lost your mother, then you’re probably sitting there nodding your head in agreement.
“The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her.”
My mother passed away on August 2, 2018. THE CALL came at 4 AM. I jumped up to answer and was told something was wrong with mom and she was being taken to the ER. I threw on some clothes and arrived at the hospital within 10 minutes. I waited but the ambulance never showed up. The ER was empty. I called the nursing home and was told on the phone that my mother had died. I made the 20minute drive to see my mom in her room one last time. She was on her bed without a blanket and I covered her. I hugged her and kissed her forehead. Then I did what I had done many times in that room. I sat with her for an hour as I waited for my husband to arrive. Mother had lived in a skilled nursing facility for a couple of years but she was doing well. In fact she had improved. I tried to visit her every couple of days. We talked, laughed and looked at old photos together. Though my mom had dementia she knew me. Most of the time she knew my husband and sons. Mom did not remember people who rarely visited her.
The staff told me that mom had woken up early as usual. She was talking, laughing and singing. After a few minutes my mom passed quickly into the arms of Christ.
I thought I was prepared for Mom’s passing. I’m an educated, intelligent woman. I went into fulltime ministry in my early 20’s. I have been a Bible teacher, counselor and pastor. I have spoken on grief. I read all the books on death, dying, and grief. I knew it would be hard, but I figured I was ready to face it head-on. After all, losing a parent is a fact of life that millions of people before me have faced. Mom was very brave and was ready to die. I was going to be brave too. Because of my experience I thought I would grieve for a while, and then I would move on with life. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
What I have learned is that God is faithful. Especially in grief. He is my healer. The grief is deep but his grace is deeper.
The following posts are based on my experience. Your experience might be completely different, but I’ll bet most of you can find some similarities between my experience and yours.