Have you ever been on the phone with a person and had the desire to hang up as quickly as possible because you just couldn’t connect with them? Maybe you were both talking but unable to connect. It’s frustrating and feels like a time waster. John Maxwell says that “connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate with them in a way that increases your influence with them.” Do you connect with people? Here are qualities of people that make me want to hang up the phone…
1. You don’t ask questions. My time with you is not a dialogue it is a monologue. You assume you are already know everything including what information I have, feel and want. You are quick to give answers but asking good questions is just not your DNA.
2. You always have an agenda. My time with you is always about you and your tasks at hand. You can be task orientated (I am too) but relating and connecting with people is leadership 101.
3. You come across arrogant. Arrogant people seldom meet others on common ground. Why? Because they don’t make the effort—they believe they shouldn’t have to. They live on higher ground than others and think they know it all and your thoughts are too insignificant to share as well as a waste of their time.
4. You refuse to listen. One reason for this is you are not open to any opinion or solution other than your own. This is pride and selfishness and due to focus on yourself and your agenda. If you are too busy to take a call DON’T. I have many projects going on and I set a specific time each day to return calls so that I can totally focus on the person without distraction. On Wednesday I usually don’t take calls at all because it is my busiest day of the week. Most people who know my life understand this and know that the best time to talk to me is on one of the other 6 days. Unless of course you are in my family in which case you can call me 24/7.
The greatest danger to being this type of person is missing out on leading in the power of the Holy Spirit. If you are open to the Spirit then He will often change a sermon or Bible Study at the last minute, an altar or call anything else that comes to mind. The most powerful times of ministry in my life are those moments when he takes everything I have planned to say or do and replaces it with a new direction. One can miss hearing the voice of God because you have not learned how to listen. The greatest blessing we can have is living, loving, leading and ministering in the power of the Holy Spirit. Ask questions. Listen. Humble yourself. Give up your agenda. And watch God work.