After all these years I am still learning to let go. Spent many years as a control freak. Can anyone out there relate to me? The most difficult venue for this lesson is with my children. When they were very young and another child was unkind to them my first response was to get in the other child’s face and say STOP IT. And sometimes if the behavior was a pattern I made the decision to decline those play dates. Today my oldest son is 13 and I am learning to let him handle his own affairs though I am still tempted to fix anything that causes him pain. This is difficult for me. Is it for you?
Being in full time ministry Todd, the boys and I visit various churches from time to time. Recently we visited a church Matthew had looked forward to attending because of a close childhood friend going there. My son is very shy but values friendship and is very loyal. New places, new groups, new people are not easy for him. He found comfort that morning knowing he would know at least one person. Living in NYC the past 3 years have been a sacrifice for my children. Leaving behind the security of family, home, close friends, good school and community was not taken lightly by us. But a decision we believe the Lord has honored. To my dismay when he and his father came to greet us he never even gave eye contact to Matthew or said hi. The friend is an extrovert and very outgoing. It was obvious to me that Matthew was hurt but I said nothing. I assumed when the service was over they would connect. After the service the boy walked over with his mom who greeted me and Matthew but again would not even look at Matthew who was standing right next to me and less than 2 feet away from him. My son was devastated and embarrassed. Good grief. What is this all about? These kids have been friends since preschool. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to tell his mom who I knew would attempt to fix it. She is a wonderful person. But I let it go. I did not want to let it go but I did. I am not good at this. My heart hurt for my son who is still just a little boy to me. I want to protect him from pain. Most people outside of our family have no idea what he has been through the last 3 years.
Is this behavior the norm for middle school kids? If it is then it reveals the need for youth ministries that disciple kids and not just provide social events.
The pastor gave an excellent message and worship was dynamic. But my son does not want to go back.