Today I will continue with the “Top 10 Commandments for Mentoring.” Before starting I want to share that prayer is vital in all that we do as believers. Not putting it on this list does not mean it is not necessary but because it is just a given.
#1 Select Wisely
For the Mentor: Don’t downplay the importance of selection. You can minister to the crowd but you will need chemistry with a person to get up close and personal. Because I do church consulting or can connect with a crowd people sometimes assume that I can connect one on one with anyone. I would love to have this ability but I don’t. No one does. Remember all those nice guys you dated but there was just no chemistry? What about those women in your dorm room or office? It is natural to click more with some than others. Though it does take time to develop relationships it is a definate advantage to have a natural chemistry. Otherwise you will spend the majority of your time attempting to build something that is not going to happen. My experience has taught me that the stronger the relationship the greater the empowerment.
If I don’t have chemistry with someone who desires to be mentored I will help them find a mentor that they do click with. WIN has several women that we use and I have yet to decline a request before finding a good match. In regard to your leadership team or or your staff team, it is so important to invest in a team of women at your church so that you can do the same thing. Please hear my heart on this…your team of leaders should not all be like you. That would be boring and ineffective. Choose a variety of people but those with whom you can relate. I will say this about prayer…cover your selection process with it because it is more difficult to release someone on your team that to make the correct choice in the first place. As John Maxwell says, those closest to you will determine your level of your success.
For the Mentoree: Kudos to you for seeking out a mentor. This shows me that you are a growing leader who wants to have a great impact as you continue to become all that God wants you to be. When you ask someone you don’t know to mentor you I suggest that you meet for a casual coffee or lunch. It does not take long to determine if there is a connection. Don’t take it personal if there is not a chemistry. God has someone better for you to learn from.
Anyone want to share their story about the importance of selection?